pagsintangpururot

bahaghari

cecilia — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 02:11:29 +0000

ang iyong mga mata ay tulad ng dagat
malalim, maalon, masalimuot
dinadala ako sa kailaliman
tinatangay, nililigaw, nilulunod

ang iyo’ng mga ngiti ay tila paru-paro
nakalilinlang, nakalilito
kulay dilaw, kulay asul, kulay pula
maganda, mahinhin, matalinhaga

ikaw ang liwanag sa kalaliman ng gabi
ang pag-asa, ang buhay, ang tamis
ang buwan, mga bituin, ang bulalakaw
nakabibighani, nakaliligalig, nakatutunaw

ikaw ang bahaghari
makulay, matingkad, mahiwaga
ako’y binibihag, inaakit, inaalipin
humihilam, tumutagaygay, kumakandili

Posted in tula Tagged: love, tulang tagalog

A Very Serendipitous Episode

cecilia — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 11:37:50 +0000

writing is truly my destiny

The ground was still damp and the leaves of the trees were still wet due to the continuous rain from the past few days. Cecilia was seriously doing her articles inside her confined dark room when she heard her close friend’s familiar voice outside the gate. It has been months since the last time they saw each other and she was truly pleased to see her again. She wasn’t sure why her friend wanted to see her but she had a gut feeling that there was something about this surprise visit.

Cecilia just listened from one topic to another, laughed from one joke to the next, and patiently waited for her to drop the bomb. After a few hours of never-ending banter, at long last, she revealed the startling news.

Her friend ended her almost six-year relationship. The news shocked Cecilia more than anything. If there was one relationship she admired the most, it was her friend’s – because it was ideal. It was almost perfect.

If Cecilia learned about the news a few years ago, she would definitely be single until now, forever fearful of getting herself involved with any man. She was sad for her friend, deeply disappointed with the fact that they already had plans for the future – a nice wedding, their own happy family and a small business. And just because of a relationship that has become more of a routine, she decided to put an end on it. Just like that.

Cecilia was still trying to absorb all the details about this ‘another’ failed relationship when her friend bid goodbye and went home. While Cecilia was left shaken by the news, she felt so blessed. Everybody seems to be breaking up and it made her realized that what she has right now is something she should be truly thankful for.

She had been in so many heartaches in the past that she was already used to the terrible feeling. Because of the pain she had gone through, it came to a point when she no longer believed in men and love in general. She assumed that relationships come and go and love is really just a state of mind. At that moment, her only love affair was with her pen and paper. She created characters in her mind and fabricated love stories where all her fantasies could come to life. She invented male characters that possess qualities she could only dream of – charming, intelligent, humorous, passionate. She made up romantic scenes from her vivid imagination and wrote down sweet dialogues she only wished to hear. If not with her romantic and compelling characters, her life would definitely be a complete bore.

That was more than a year ago. Now, Cecilia is no longer a skeptic when it comes to men and in love. Her lifelong dream of meeting a man who would sweep her off her feet has finally come into reality, in a very serendipitous episode. He was all she could ever hope for.

Up to now, it still amazes her whenever she thinks about how she came across that website. She never imagined that a single click on the mouse could change her entire life forever. One day, she just found herself doing something she was not familiar with and simply realized that she was starting to enjoy every single minute of it. Her enjoyment was intensified after a few weeks of writing when she received a ym message from a total stranger – that simple message struck Cecilia like lightning and she had no idea that it was the beginning of something wonderful.

Initially, her intention in signing up was to know more about how the internet works and how it could help her with her writing aspiration. Cecilia wants to be a novelist. She has always dreamed of becoming a novelist for a long time and she’s willing to leave her comfort zone and think out of the box just to reach her goal.

For many, Essays.ph is probably just an ordinary company, a good means to earn income. But for Cecilia, Essays.ph is a lot more than that. It gave her so much more than she wished for. Apart from the additional income, Essays.ph gave her many reasons to laugh and to live again.

Essays.ph will forever play an important part in Cecilia’s life. It helped hone her skill in writing. She became a better person because of the company and learned so much ever since she started working for them.

Essays.ph gave Cecilia the chance to meet interesting people and new friends who happen to be some of the coolest and the most wonderful friends she has ever met. And most importantly, Cecilia owes Essays.ph everything she has become at present because through the company, she was able to meet the man who only existed in her imagination.

That serendipitous episode granted her a clearer vision of the future. Essays.ph is a one huge and significant adventure that she would never trade for anything in the world. If she could turn back time, she would still want to stumble upon Essays.ph website to find the man of her dreams and fall in love all over again.

Posted in Uncategorized

i love…

cecilia — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 08:52:53 +0000

i see only you

I love the sparkle in your eyes every time you look at me. I love the feeling of your hands against mine as we walk alongside each other. I love the way you smile at me and i love the sound of your easy laughter. I love the way we make fun of random things and laugh our hearts out without caring what other people might think. I love our movie marathon moments while you hold me in your arms as if you never want to let me go. I love the way you whisper ‘I love you’.

I love Wednesdays and I love those days in between because I know we’ll be seeing each other again soon. I love thinking about you on my way to our favorite spot and I love that tingling sensation I feel every time I see you standing there, waiting for me. I love walking next to you, I love looking at you when you talk. I love listening to your stories and I love laughing at your ‘sale’ moments. I simply love laughing with you.

I love your surprises. I love the flowers, chocolates, Gabriel, the blue teddy and even those simple and unexpected endearing things you say and do. I love your sweet text messages and our daily conversations. I love our talks about places we want to see together, about the plans we have in the future. I love thinking about those crazy things we aim to do someday. I love the ‘things’ that make our relationship more special. I love the feeling you evoke in me. I love our connection, everybody around us must be aware of the magic between us, which is undeniable.

I love your wisdom and your imagination. I love your sweetness, your sincerity, your passion. I simply love everything about you. And I love the fact that you love me.

Posted in love poems, tula

Ten Things I love About Neil Raymundo

cecilia — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 00:19:33 +0000

1. Neil always makes me laugh. There’s never a dull moment when I’m with him. He knows all the crazy and funny things to say especially when I’m feeling down. Being with him is like being in a romantic comedy movie. He’s the Henry Roth of my life.
2. He is the most thoughtful person I know. Neil always puts me first on his list, making me feel so special every single day.
3. Neil is a true artist. He has the talent that never fails to amaze me.
4. I love his surprises. From his unexpected romantic letters, to his fantastic works of art. He brought fun and excitement into my life and I would never trade his affection for the world.
5. Neil is one of the deepest and most intelligent people I have ever met. His wisdom is just remarkable. I’ve learned so much about so many things ever since I met him.
6. Neil has the power to turn my saddest day into a perfect moment. I don’t know how he does that – changing my mood through his romantic thoughts.
7. His level of understanding is still a mystery to me. No matter how stubborn I get or how difficult I become, he always finds a way to understand me.
8. Neil is my confidant. I can tell him all my thoughts, opinions, dreams and fears anytime I want. He is always there whenever I need someone to talk to or every time I yearn for someone who could listen to my rants.
9. He is very passionate. In everything he does. He has a big heart and I feel so lucky to have it. His passion makes me fall for him all over again.
10. Neil is the epitome of an ideal man. Although he is a child at heart, he still finds a way to be romantic and responsible all the time. His love is everlasting and it is mine. Only mine.

Posted in Uncategorized

teaser ng kilig moments (isang liham para sa isang kaibigan)

cecilia — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 03:24:51 +0000

ahay sa ngayon, sa ganitong paraan ko muna ikukwento ang mga kilig moments sa nakalipas na ilang buwan. pero pramis, wala ito sa kalingkingan ng kilig na nararamdaman ko ahaha.

basta nung sinimulan n’ya kong kulitin sa ym, akala ko, joke lang kasi nga diba bossing sha. tas hanggang everyday every night na kaming magkachat. dumating sa point na mejo nag-iwasan kami (more of iniwasan n’ya ko ahaha) kasi nga may feelings na ata ahay. hanggang sa naisipan namin parehong magmit. ayun. after a week ata, krismas party ng company namin, tas after one week pa ulet, kami na *kilig*. di ko alam kung may nangyaring ligawan (o ako ata ang nanligaw) kasi eversince, sobrang palagay na loob namin at undeniable ang attraction. probably, we felt something for each other even from the start, kailangan lang ng formality. ayun nung start mejo nagkakaroon ng conflicts kasi mejo seloso ang lolo mo at mejo possessive. super sensitive sha pramis (mas sensitive pa sakin) na nung una nga nagiging cause ng issues. pero ngayon, pareho na kaming nakapag-adjust *super hapi*.

nung una, intimidated ako sa kanya kasi nga sikat sa internet at sobrang intelektuwal. at shempre, flattered ang lola mo nung nalaman ko ang feelings nya for me na sa dinami-dami ng babae, nahulog sha sa piktur ko sa prengster ahahaha. kung pede ko lang i-paste dito lahat ng logs namin sa ym mula simula hanggang ngayon, ginawa ko na. kaso nagwori ako baka langgamin ang pc mo sa sobrang sweetness at sa akin mo pa i-charge ang pagpagawa muhaha.

ayun nga. he’s the sweetest man. the most sensitive. the most loving. the most talented. the best. di ko na maimagine ang sarili ko na hindi sha ang kasama. pramis. he made me believe in love again and in miracles.

kung gaano sha ka-sweet nung mga unang araw kaming nagkakilala sa ym, ganun pa rin sha ka-sweet ngayon. walang pinagkaiba. kung meron man, mas lalo lang shang naging romantic. ahay. di naman obyus na inlab na inlab na inlab ako no? ahahahha sori naman inlab na inlab na inlab nga ako.

yun lang. kailangan ko munang tigilan ang pagkukwento at baka ako naman ang langgamin dito ahaha. kwentuhan na lang ulet sa susunod. amishu

Posted in Uncategorized

isang liham para sa ika-dalawang buwan ng matamis na pag-iibigan

cecilia — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 05:10:32 +0000

Neil,

Wala na.

Wala na akong masabi.

Ang dalawang buwan ay para bang dalawampung taon.

Sa sobrang dami ng mga nakatutuwa, nakakikilig, nakaaaasar at nakawiwindang na pangyayari, pakiramdam ko ay habang buhay na tayong magkasama.

Sa tuwing mayroon tayong hindi pagkakaunawaan, minsan gusto ko nang sumuko at tigilan na lang ang lahat. Pero anu ba, para ko namang pinigilan ang sarili ko na huminga.

Gano’n ang nararamdaman ko para sa’yo. Na parang kapag nawala ka ay hindi ako makakahinga. Ikaw ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit ako masaya at ayokong mawala ‘yon.

Sa tinagal-tagal ng panahon ng paghihintay at pag-asam sa isang tulad mo, hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin lubos maisip na nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na makilala ka.

Nasabi ko na sa’yo noon na isa ka sa pinakamalalim na nilalang na nakilala ko sa buong buhay ko at hindi ako magsasawa na sabihin sa’yo na isa kang henyo (ang umangal, itutulak ko sa bangin). Totoo ‘yon at hindi magbabago ang paniniwala ko’ng ‘yon sa pagdaan ng maraming panahon. Nirerespeto kita (kahit minsan hindi halata). Nirerespeto ko lahat ng pinaniniwalaan at sinasabi mo.

Hindi ko inaasahan na mayroon pa pala’ng lalaking katulad mo na nabubuhay sa mundo – sensitibo, mapagmahal, maaalalahanin, makulit, sentimental, intelektuwal sa lahat ng bagay (wala itong eksaherasyon). Ikaw ‘yung madalas kong gawing bidang lalaki sa aking mga nobela.

Sabi ko, wala na akong masabi pero heto, may sasabihin pa ako-

Mahal na mahal kita, Neil. Kalimutan mo na ang lahat ng una kong mga nasabi, ‘wag lang ‘tong huli.

Cee

Posted in Uncategorized

para kay neil

cecilia — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:15:48 +0000

ang mga mata ko’y sa’yo lang titingin
sa diyos sa langit ikaw lang ang hiling
kahit sino pa ang aking makita
ikaw pa rin ang aking sinisinta

kahit pa manligaw si piolo pascual
pangako sa’yong ikaw lang ang mahal
wala akong pakialam kay jericho
dahil sa’yo lamang ang pag-ibig ko

haranahin man ako ni christian
isama pa si mark at eric sa kantahan
wala akong iba pang maririnig
kundi ang napakaganda mong tinig

kahit pa bigyan ako ni aga mulach
ng libu-libong mga bulaklak
wala ‘yong halaga sa akin
ikaw pa rin ang iisipin

‘pag niyaya akong mag-date ni geoff eigenmann
ako’y tatanggi nang walang alinlangan
si john lloyd kahit tumawag sa’kin
hinding-hindi ko s’ya kakausapin

hindi ko papansinin si sam milby
at kahit pa muling mabuhay si elvis presley
kahit pa sinong sikat sa buong mundo
sa’yo ay wala pa ring tatalo

si michael buble’ man ang umawit
pag-ibig man niya’y hanggang langit
‘wag na ‘wag kang magdaramdam
ako sa iyo’y di magpapaalam

wala akong ibang hiling
kundi ikaw lamang ang makapiling
nag-iisa lamang ang nais ko
ang makasama ang tulad mo

Posted in Uncategorized

sa jan 14 mo na basahin ahahaha (isang matamis na liham mula kay neil)

cecilia — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 09:16:25 +0000

Ayun pasensya naman. Maganda naman talaga yung ideya ko. Plano ko sana na gumawa ng painting ng mukha mo, gamit na reference yung picture mo sa bangka (Kung mga kanta ang pictures, yung ang unang track sa greatest hits mo). Kaso, kagaya ng relihiyon at gobyerno, sumasablay na yung idea pagdating sa totoong buhay kasi palpak yung nag-execute. Eto yung una kong nagawa, inisketch ko muna gamit ang bolpeng mumurahen:

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/neilencio/cee.jpg

O di ba? Hindi mukhang cecilia. Mukhang Orc sa Lord of the Rings. Pero hindi ako madaling sumuko, tinry ko naman na parang painting…at eto ang kinalabasan:

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/neilencio/cee2.jpg

Ang gara di ba? Hindi sya mukhang normal na painting. Para kong nagpainting ng wax figure mo, na matagal nang naiwan sa arawan kaya natunaw.

Napagpasyahan kong idrawing na lang ang relationship nating dalawa. PERO…kahit nabuhay ako ng ilang taon sa pagiging Artist at pagiging writer, e ikinahihiya kong aminin na hindi ako marunong gumamit ng simbolismo o ano mang ka-ek-ekan kung saan ilalarawan ko ang ating pag-ibig bilang isang busilak na brilyanteng galing sa dumi ngunit nilinang hanggang maging isa sa pinakamaganda at pinakamatibay na bagay sa balat ng lupa, tapos may konting design-design sa gilid na kulay blue, nakalimutan ko na kung anong ibig sabihin nun. Hope yata o faith o baka hindi lang marunong magkulay yung gumawa at aksidenteng nakaskas nya yung blue craypas sa gilid – pero hindi na importante kasi hindi naman yun ang drawing ko para sa relationship natin.

Hindi ako gagamit ng simbolismo dahil simple lang ang description ko sa ating pagsasama: CUTE. Kasing cute ng dalawang pusang magkayakap sa tuktok ng mataas na puno, parehas silang natatakot dahil hindi nila alam kung paano bumaba pero masaya pa rin sila dahil ang importante ay magkasama sila, at magkayakap. Happy 1st month, cecilia. I love you so much.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/neilencio/pusa.jpg

Posted in Uncategorized

Nais Ko’y Ikaw

cecilia — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 08:20:02 +0000

Nais kong magisnan ang bukang-liwayway
Na ikaw ang kasama
Madama ang simoy ng hangin
At lamig ng umaga

Nais kong hawakan ang iyong mga kamay
Sa tuwing titingin sa langit
Sabay nating bibilangin ang mga tala
Hanggang sa sila ay mawala

Nais kong masaksihan ang paglubog ng araw
Na ikaw ang kapiling
Ibubulong ko sa iyo ang nadarama
Kasabay ng paglamon ng dilim

Nais kong maramdaman ang ulan
Ang pagpatak nito sa pisngi’t katawan
At ang pagdampi ng iyong halik
Na sa aking puso’y di mawawaglit

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/mar1lyn84/2722712047/

Posted in love poems Tagged: Add new tag, love poem

If I Tell You I Love You

cecilia — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 01:16:26 +0000

If I tell you I love you

Would you believe?

That I always think of you

And how much I adore you

If I tell you I love you

Would you laugh?

My heart longs for you

For your love that is ever true

If I tell you I love you

Would you care?

Or would you avoid my eyes

And ignore my feelings inside

If I tell you I love you

Would you hate me?

For pretending that I’m just a friend

Everytime you hold my hand

If I tell you I love you

Would you stay?

Would you still be there

And the friendship that we had shared

If I tell you I love you

Would you love me?

And tell me that what you feel

Is something that I long to hear

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/beglen/151843636/

Emptiness

cecilia — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:14:12 +0000

If I were going to be asked how many times I have fallen in love, my answer would be- many times. Probably too many that every so often I feel like I was born to love and to get hurt.

Falling in love is the most infuriatingly fantastic feeling any human being could possibly experience. It is exciting. It is nerve-wracking. It is calorie burning. It is insane. It makes everything in the world magical and colorful.

People who are in love tend to be much nicer than necessary. I know. I’ve been there. It feels like you want to be-friend everybody. You are more welcoming, more approachable. You understand everything. You seem to know the solutions to all the problems in the world. And, you cannot seem to get that sweet smile off your face.

That is love. It can do all the crazy things, it can make the impossible possible, the ugly beautiful and the black, somehow white.

That is love. I know. I’ve had that.

I should know everything about love because I have been in that state for so many times.

But actually, I don’t. I do not know how it feels like to be cuddled in the cold Christmas Eve. I do not know how it feels to be in the arms of someone when I am miserable. I do not know the feeling of being cherished and loved when my world is falling apart.

All I know is the feeling of emptiness every time I fall in love.

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/g-hat/1587337253/

Halfmeant

cecilia — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:28:06 +0000

Sa bawat gabi makatulog ka sana

Na ako ang nasa isip sa tuwi-tuwina

Sa umaga, sa tanghali at sa gabi

Sana maalala mo ang aking mga ngiti

Sana’y dahan-dahan ka sa iyo’ng pagkain

Baka mabulunan sana sa kaiisip sa akin

Tingnan ang daan sa paglalakad

Baka madapa kapag naalalala ang lahat

Siguro sa sobrang pag-iisip ko sa’yo

Ay dugu-dugo ka na, pangyayari’ng di malayo

Ngayon kaya ay may dila ka pa

O lagi ito’ng nakakagat at di na makapagsalita

Kawawa ka naman kung magkagano’n

Sorry ha, di ko lang mapigilan ang emosyon

Gustuhin ko man na di ka isipin

‘Di pwede dude, mahirap ‘yong pilitin

October 19, 2005

Wednesday, 12:05am

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/colinedwards/291628090/

Love Never Ends

cecilia — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 08:45:57 +0000

How would you stay in love with someone who does not and will never feel the same way? Would you still take the risk, tell him how you really feel and be broken the second time, or would you just forget about your feelings and live your life as if nothing happened?

And then regret everything for the rest of your life?

No way. If I were that person, I wouldn’t. But then again, you’ve got to think- is he worth fighting for?

I’ll say this again, I don’t know and I can’t remember how many times I’ve said this, but I’ll say this again anyway. I’d love to forget everything, move on and live a new life. Who wouldn’t? But it isn’t easy. Everyday, I tell myself, this is the day when I start thinking about other things, more important things, except him. But at the end of the day, I always find myself hoping that he’s somehow thinking about me.

Crazy, I am. Of course, I know that. No need to deny it.

Well, that moving on thing, I guess, that’s hopeless for me. And that really scares me because I know, if I won’t be able to move on, I couldn’t really be happy.

Because as they say, you cannot really go on if you have left something behind. And what I’ve left behind is the most important thing in my life. It is just so impossible to forget.

And how can I live with the fact that I can’t move on? I do not know. Honestly, I do not know.

They say that to be able to forget someone, find someone else. Or keep yourself busy, or simply, just forget everything about him. From his smile, to his God damn beautiful little eyes.

Yes, I have tried those, all these years. But where did that all lead me? Into insanity. Still, here I am, desperately praying for a miracle.

Here I am, still living in the shadow of the past, without taking into consideration that he might be with someone now, happy.

I must admit that I can’t face the fact that he has changed. That maybe everything has changed between the two of us.

Maybe he’s not the same person I’ve known many years ago. Maybe his feelings for me has changed. Maybe.

Or that’s for sure. I don’t know.

I still can’t figure out how did that happen. I mean, does love really change at the end of the day?

Well, of course, it does. Everything has it’s end. Actually, a lot has changed in me. My love, for instance to those people whom I’ve loved before. However, did I question myself? No, because I am sure in my heart, that it is possible and there’s nothing wrong about my feelings changing through time.

It’s understandable. It’s justifiable.

But why on earth can’t I understand this issue between me and Mr. Blank?

I’m getting tired of this. I’ve been pondering, weighing things for so, so long now. This hurt I’m feeling, I think is already immunizing my system that I no longer care if this is wrong or right.

I know that what I feel for him is so real and that nothing is gonna happen. Yes, I’ve learned, as time goes that what I am into is something that time needs a miracle to come true.

I have learned to accept my fate. But I am still holding on. I do not know where would this all lead me, but somehow I know, I’ll get there.

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/17305559@N00/379732712/

Gone with the Wind

cecilia — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:30:57 +0000

There will be this one time in your life wherein you’ll find someone as wonderful as the stars in the sky.

I’ve found mine many years ago. He’s got the eyes that would definitely leave a girl breathless. And his smile- wow, you could lose yourself with his sweet smile. He’s totally charming, very good looking. A head-turner, without even trying.

I always used to give him a glance every single day when he walks in front of my house. And when he smiles, God only knows what’s on my mind.

As time flies, I know nothing about him but his heavenly charm.

As time flies by and still, I found myself searching among the crowds for his face. And who would expect that I’d be seeing him again, after a couple of years, in the most unlikely circumstances.

One that I wished never happened.

You ask why? I tell you why.

Well, it was one of those ordinary days, and as I do the things I usually do, I suddenly saw this man rushing to my direction. I was surprised. Speechless.

O, I really wish to heaven it never happened. Because that same day, that very moment, I can’t help but ask myself why, o why did I lose myself to someone like this man?

I cannot believe that I was actually deceived by his charming good looks.

Do not get me wrong. He still looks fantastic.

Well, not until he speaks.

O, I really wished it never happened. All my admiration, longing and dreaming has suddenly disappeared. It has simply gone…with the wind.

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/aussiegall/1283642321/

Hanggang Sa Muli

cecilia — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 06:16:55 +0000

Paano kaya kung magkita tayo’ng muli

Magsasawalang kibo ba o ako’y ngingiti

Ano kaya ang mararamdaman

Ng puso ko sa oras na ika’y masilayan

Ano kaya ang iyo’ng gagawin

Kapag muling nagkita ang landas natin

Ako kaya ay mapapansin mo

Kung sakaling magkasalubong tayo

Ituturing mo kaya ako’ng isang kaibigan

Tatawanan, ngingitian na parang wala lang

Ano kaya ang una mo’ng sasabihin

Tulad kaya ng unang pagkikita natin

Makakayanan ko kayang ika’y muling yakapin

At ipadama sa’yo natatagong damdamin

Magkaroon kaya ng lakas ng loob

Sabihin sa’yo hinanakit ko’t poot

Marahil hindi mo na ako maaalala

Ang dating pagtingin ay sadyang wala na

At kung tayo nga’y magkitang muli

Marahil kalakip nito’y mapait na ngiti

November 19, 2005

12:15am

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/blmurch/332041319/

Love Sucks

cecilia — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:27:25 +0000

Love sucks. As in really sucks. You’ll do everything for love, all those crazy little things for love, then what? You just end up weeping and crying over some stupid jerk who promised you the moon and the

stars and the heaven and the earth.

God to think of it- some guy likes you, calls you everyday, spends hours on the phone in the morning, afternoon and night. Sends you sweet and thoughtful messages, tells you everything you wanted to hear. He visits your home almost every night, goes out with you on the weekends, brings you to those romantic places and fancy restaurants, and lavishes you with expensive flowers, gifts and chocolates.

And when you look into his eyes, he stares at you as if you are the most beautiful woman on earth. Then, in a snap of a finger, the stars come down from heaven and you fall in love with him and he’s the happiest.

Then days passed, weeks and months.

And days passed by still, as you look into his eyes, he isn’t looking at you the way he did before.

Then you hear him say…It’s not you, it’s me.

That’s the romantic way of breaking up, I think. He tells you he needed some space to think, that you are such a wonderful person and you deserve someone better, he couldn’t give everything you need, that you are too good for him.

This some guy, whom a long time ago promised you everything, almost his life for you, and they are the ones who beg for your love in the first place, but then, they are the ones who want escape.

Love does suck, doesn’t it?

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/foreverphoto/512760334/

Nasaan Ka

cecilia — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:04:49 +0000

Ako kaya ay naaalala pa

Ako kaya ay naiisip pa

Hindi ka rin kaya makatulog sa gabi

Inaasam mo rin kaya na magkapiling muli

Pinapangarap mo rin ba kahit minsan

Na muling magkita kahit panandalian

Nalulungkot ka rin kaya sa pagsapit ng dilim

Inuulit sa alaala mga gabi’ng magkapiling

Sa bawat pagpatak ba ng ulan

Dala sa’yo’y alaala ng ating pinagsamahan

Sa tuwing pipikit ba ang iyong mga mata

Kasama ba ako sa iyo’ng nakikita

Dumarating din kaya ang mga sandali

Na ang tunay na damdamin ay pilit kinukubli

May mga panahon kaya’ng napapabuntung-hininga

Walang magawa dahil sadyang malayo ka

Tinatanong mo rin kaya sa iyo’ng sarili

Kung may pag-asa pang makita ang bahaghari

Tinatanaw mo rin ba ang mga bituin sa langit

Dinarasal na sana ay mahagkan ka’ng muli

Lagi ko’ng iniisip kung nasaan ka na

Masaya ka ba ngayon o tulad ko’ng nagdurusa

Sino kaya ang may hawak ng ’yong mga kamay

Sa pagtulog ba sa gabi mayroong nagbabantay

Mayroon kaya’ng nagpapangiti

Sayo’ng mga labi tuwing may pighati

Sino kaya ang iyong inaalala

Ngayo’ng di na ako ang iyo’ng kasama

Hindi ko alam kung ano’ng iniisip mo

Kung d’yan sa puso ang laman ba ay ako

Tulad din ba kita na ngayo’y isang bigo

Naghihintay sa pagwawakas ng paghihirap ng puso

October 18, 2005

Tuesday, 2:30pm image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/wtlphotos/2096886522/

How

cecilia — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:25:28 +0000

How do you make things easier

The moment we said it was over

How do you face the morning sun

When you know that our love is gone

How could you go on and continue living

While I’m here on my own, hurting

I can’t help but wonder

How could your love make my heart suffer

How could you be so damn caring

Doing little things that make my heart spinning

How do you make each day so sweet

How do you fill the emptiness and make me complete

How do you begin a day without me

How do you set your heart free

How do you make the nights worthwhile

With tears in my eyes and a fake smile

How could you leave without saying goodbye

Now that you’re gone how could I not cry

How could you love me so damn much

When you know that you and I can never last

O, how will I ever convince myself

That our love is now an old book in a shelf

Tell me how to pretend to be fine

When I know in my heart you can never be mine

October 20, 2005

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/return_to_oz/319655745/

Hanggang Kailan

cecilia — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:01:42 +0000

Kaylan kaya maririnig mula sa’yo

Na ako lamang ang laman ng puso

Hanggang kailan kaya ako aasa

Na iisa lamang ang ating nadarama

Kaylan kaya kita mayayakap

Maramdamang muli aking mga pangarap

Makasama ka sa bawat patak ng ulan

Tanging panalangin ko’y muli kang mahagkan

Pilit ko ma’ng limutin ka

Paulit-ulit pa rin kita’ng naaalala

Ang mga ngiti at halik ng ating nagdaan

Sa panaginip ko na lang ba muling makakamtan?

Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan

Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan

Ano nga ba ang halaga ng lahat sa’yo

Ng masasayang sandali na kasama mo’y ako

Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan

Hanggang kailan ko pilit iiwasan

Ang isipin ka, alalahanin ka, pangarapin ka

Dahil narito ako at nariyan ka

Gusto ko ma’ng sabihin na mahal kita

Alam ko’ng wala namang kahihinatnan pa

Dahil alam ko’ng mundo nati’y magkaiba

At kailan ma’y di na muling magkikita

October 18, 2005

1:45am

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/starprod/1560594512/

Life Without You

cecilia — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:58:08 +0000

What is life without you

This I would never know

You are the air that I breathe

My every reason to believe

The rain won’t stop falling

Forever are the stormy seas

The birds will stop singing

With my heart slowly dying

There are no more moonlit walks

The sweet nights are over

No more goodnight kisses

Like a wish on a four-leaf clover

It will never be the same

Now that you’re gone

Hear me call out your name

Here is my heart to blame

December 12, 2005

1:30am

image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/cursedthing/486398164/